The Tech Boys and their Adventures
by Berwee's Crackalakin Conundrum
Summary: Ludwig and Vash are the leaders of a Tech Club at their school. They both are in love with each other, but neither of them know that. With the jealousy of old lovers and new members, will their relationship flop before it even starts? WARNING: CRACK!
1. Chapter 1

**ameriponi: I FIGURED OUT HOW TO PUT A BAR HERE HAHAHA! (iggymuffins couldn't stop me from publishing in time to put a bar on the Video Tape XD) Umm what to say... I guess I should say that you really shouldn't take this seriously gaiz. It's a happy cracky mountain of weirdness~ OH AND AND WRITE A REVIEW PLEEEEEEEASE! I don't know about iggymuffins but I love to hear good feedback and its always good to know that we're not the only crazy people out there XD**

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><p>"Ah..." Ludwig sighs. "This work is quite troublesome."<p>

"Shut up. You're so depressing." Vash said solemnly. He ran his hand through his hair like a model.

"There's nothing we can do anymore. Might as well go home."

Ludwig sighs again "I'm afraid we can't. We have two more people joining the crew that we need to meet today."

"Wha?" Vast screeched, his pubescent voice cracking slightly. "I thought that was next week!"

"Nein. Now, let's go."

The burly German grabbed the small teenager, pulling him forward, like a dog on a leash.

"Let me go before I shoot you in the face!"

The smaller blonde struggles, though Ludwig is much stronger than he is.

"We both know you wouldn't do that to me." Ludwig said as he turned around and smiled at Vash. Was it all in Vash's mind, or were there sparkles and flowers everywhere? Vash's face turns slightly red in colour.

"D-don't tell me what I can and cannot do! I am not like Kiku. I don't keep my opinions to myself, Kraut!"

"I-I express my opinions well!" a voice said.

Vash jerked out of his little world and back into reality, the place where him and Ludwig would never be together. He turned slowly to see who had burst his bubble, to see Kiku standing there, stating his opinion bluntly. Speak of the Asian. (**A/N: Iggymuffins: **Hello, it's the aforementioned Iggymuffins, who helped write this piece. Yes, I tried to tell Ameriponi that this saying, "speak of the Asian," did not make sense, but unfortunately, they would not listen. I would just like to confirm that "Asian" is definitely not a substitute for "devil", alright? Brilliant.)

Vash blinks, then glares at the slender Japanese student before breaking the gaze and striding ahead of Ludwig.

"Let's get this over with already."

"Vash, can you give us just a second?" Ludwig asked, looking downwards at the short Switz.

Before Vash could reply, Ludwig had already pulled Kiku over, and started whispering in his ear. Vash felt jealousy slowly creep up from his heart to his face.

He clenches his fists and looks away. The temptation to skip the orientation for the two new members and go to the shooting range instead crossed his mind. However, he'd be leaving Ludwig alone with Kiku, and there was no way that would happen.

"Wh-where is the other person?" Vash questioned, hoping the way he said it wasn't exposing his jealousy

A small, female with short blonde hair and green eyes comes into the small tech room. "I-I'm sorry I'm late... I got lost..." She nervously messes with the purple bow adorning her hair.

Ludwig shot up from whispering with Kiku, and turned slowly to face the petite girl. His eyes radiated an evil glare as he spoke with his deep voice.

"You're not even a freshman yet. Why are you here."

"U-um... I-I'm almost a freshman... And... I just wanted... to check out the club..." Her voice shrinks as she gets further into her sentence. She tugs nervously at her hair as Vash glares at Ludwig. "That's no way to talk to a lady! Have some manners!"

Ludwig looked at Vash with an almost sad puppy face. His eyes seemed as though he had just been heartbroken. Ludwig spoke up, less confidently, "So I guess we'll have five people in the tech group next year."

Vash turns to the girl "What's your name?" The girl straigtens up and bows. "M-my name is Lilli... N-nice to meet you..."

Kiku gasped at the fact she was smaller than him, and immediately zoomed over and shook her hand with sympathetic respect.

Lilli shakes Kiku's hand, thinking he was only being respectful and welcoming her to the club. She smiled slightly.

Vash turned to Ludwig, slightly scared of what his face might look like, but conquered his fear and swirled his head to face the German's blue eyes.

Ludwig had his arms crossed with a distasteful look on his face, almost as if he was angry.

Vash gulped as he tried to choke up the words caught in his throat. Finally, they burst out with a coolness.

"Who's the third... I-I mean the fourth... I-I-I mean the fifth person?" Yeah, real cool.

"Me." said a towering blonde headed boy with glasses that was lurking in the shadows.

"Berwald. Nice of you to join us." said Ludwig, with a hint of angst in his voice.

Only Ludwig knew of Vash and Berwald's past relationship, other than the said two.

"Ah... umm... should we do something?" said Kiku, sensing some form of tension in the air between the two burly blondes.

"I-I'm not sure..." Lilli responds. "Th-they seem to be quite scary..."

"D-don't be scared!" Vash accidentally shouted at the petite girl. "S-sorry... they're just... releasing tension... Wh-why don't we go somewhere else?"

"No. Stay here." Berwald shot his hand out and reached for Vash's arm, pulling him back.

"Oi! Don't touch him!" Ludwig belted and grabbed Vash's other arm.

"O-ouch! Let Go!" Vash looked pleadingly at both of the taller blondes.

"Freeze!" Kiku yelled, very seriously. He proceeded to pull out a small silver device.

"Oi! Kiku, what are you doing?" Vash yelled.

Suddenly, the device emitted a bright flash of light for a brief second.

"...Picture..." Berwald voiced intelligently.

Vash felt his face turn red, as he thought of what the picture Kiku just took must look like.

Ludwig and Berwald promptly let go of Vash's arms, looking extremely embarrassed.

Kiku stared at his camera with extreme delight, and rushed over to Lilli to show her the picture; he had to share his genius with someone!

Lilli smiled and nodded, making a small sound of approval at the artwork just presented to her. Kiku looked up from his masterpiece, to see the upsetting scene of his models being completely quiet and distressed.

"I-I'm sorry if I frightened you all..."

Ludwig coughed slightly to break the tension.

"I-It's okay..." Vash murmured.

"Um... If it's okay... I-I would like to see the club room..." Lilli said softly.

Berwald looks over at Vash and grabs him by the forearm. "Let's go see the club room."

Vash saw Ludwig grow a scowl as Berwald grabbed his arm.

"Let go of me." Vash snatches his arm back and starts striding towards the club room.

Ludwig walked forward, smirking as he passed the stunned looking Berwald.

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><p><strong>Iggymuffins: Well, for crack, I believe that wasn't so bad. Editing was done by me, hopefully there isn't too many mistakes. As Ameriponi stated, please review. I mean, this one is less cracky than Berwald and the Video Tape... Slightly.<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

Everyone entered the club room, the two new members began looking around curiously.

"Don't touch that." Ludwig stated, as Lilli leaned forward to examine a strange box with tons of knobs and buttons.

"I-I'm sorry..." She retreats back and Vash shoots Ludwig a glare.

"Vash... What is this?" Berwald points towards a small box with a big red button on it.

"It's a box that contains lights we use for special shows." Vash said flatly.

"What special shows?" Berwald said, faking curiousity.

"Alice in Wonderland, Romeo and Juliet, Spongebob Squarepants: The Musical... The bigger productions..."

"What is Spongebob Squarepants?" Berwald asked, purely curious this time.

"...A show about a flamboyant yellow sponge with square pants."

Everyone stopped talking, creating an awkward silence. Both Ludwig and Berwald were glaring at each other, as well as glancing over to see Vash every few seconds.

"..."

Vash coughs. "A-anyways. This is the club room. This is where all of our preparations take place."

"We get here every morning at 7 and we stay after school until 7. Get here no later, and leave no earlier." Ludwig stated, like he was commanding an army of soldiers. Vash nodded in agreement. "I suppose that is all for orientation... Right, Ludwig?"

"Well, there is the test... But should we wait for that?" Ludwig whispered to Vash.

Vash blushed; he could feel Ludwig's breath on his ear. "Y-yeah, we don't want to scare them just yet." Vash whispers back to the German. He felt something on his hand. Vash looked down quickly and realized Ludwig was holding his hand. He turned an even deeper shade of red and whipped his head away, but kept his hand in the same place.

He briefly saw Berwald's furious expression.

"A-anyways," Vash pulls away from Ludwig "I'm going home. Good day." He attempts to leave the room, but as he opened the door, a tall, muscular, long brown haired boy stormed in through the door.

"Kiku? Kiku!" The boy ran straight past Vash and hugged the small asian teen.

"H-Hera-chan...?"

"I've been looking everywhere for you!" Heracles said, surprisingly serious (and awake).

"I-I'm sorry, Hera-chan. However, club orientation is today... I thought you knew..."

"Oh..." Heracles suddenly relaxed.

"Gomen, Hera-chan. I didn't mean to worry you..."

Kiku looked up at Heracles, but found him to be sleeping, his head lolling with every breath.

Kiku smiles softly then pulls out his cell phone. He calls the cat bus from "My Neighbor Totoro" and pulls Heracles' arm over his shoulder, and helps him inside the newly-arrived vehicle before they ride off.

Everyone had been quiet to watch the drama scene right in front of them, and when the stars had left, everyone stayed silent.  
>Vash looked up, and saw that both Berwald and Ludwig had both jumped beside him to defend him from the man who had previously broken into the room, thinking he was another potential love thief of Vash's heart.<p>

Vash sighs and puts a hand to his forehead. "I'm going home... As, I tried to before." He tried to push the two HUNKS in front of him away, to let him past, but they wouldn't budge. Vash pulls out two pistols from his pockets. "Please move or I'll shoot your brains out."

Lilli whimpered in the corner of the room. She observed as both of the guards swiftly grabbed each of Vash's hands, and pointed the guns he held towards their enemy.  
>"If you two don't give me back my guns now, I will have to force you to eat my strongest cheese!"<p>

Berwald loosened his grip on the gun in fear, but Ludwig kept his hand tight on the trigger.


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry it's taken so long for us to update~ BUT THIS IS OUR FAVORITE CHAPTER SO ITS WORTH IT! Enjoy~ (and review if you want to~ reviews are always fun!)**

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><p>"Ludwig, I don't think you understand the power of my cheese... If I were you, it would be wise to let go of that gun, kraut." Vash's eyes narrow as he says this.<p>

Ludwig continued to glare at Berwald, but then his eyes flashed over to Vash. As their gaze met for a few seconds, Ludwig slowly released his grip on the gun.

Vash sighs. "I don't trust the two of you walking home without killing each other... So, you both shall accompany me."

Berwald and Ludwig both looked shocked at this proposition. They turned to each other, and passed agreement through their stares.

"I suppose..." Ludwig turned to Vash and nodded.

Berwald nodded and walked over to the door and held it open, waiting for the other two in the room to walk out. .

As the trio walked down the street, the tension never lifted once. The two taller blondes were walking on either side of Vash and continued to glare at one another as they walked the Swiss home. Suddenly, both of the bodyguards felt a person grab their shoulders, and laugh really loudly.

"KESESESE! Whats up guys?"

The trio turns around to find the source of the obnoxious(ly awesome) voice, and it took about 2 seconds for all of them to say the same thing.

"Go home, Gilbert."

The Prussian (Totally not German, because German wasn't nearly as awesome enough) gives them his infamous smirk. "Oh, come on guys! I just wanted to talk!"

Ludwig avoided looking at his brother or at Vash. He knew how much they hated each other, and yet Gilbert would always pounce on them while they walked home each day.

"We don't want to talk to you. Go away." Vash glares at Gilbert.

"Obviously, Bruder doesn't want to walk home with you like he always does! Look at him! He'd much rather walk with awesome me!" Gilbert retorted, and he grabbed his brother's arm.

"B-Bruder..." Ludwig sighs.

Berwald smirked slightly "It appears Gilbert is correct."

Ludwig shoots a glare in Berwald's direction. Gilbert watches the action with interest. "I could make a movie out of this…" the Prussian muses to himself.

Vash ignored the albino's comment, and looked up at Ludwig sadly. "W-would you rather not walk me home...?" He asked, tears filling in his eyes.

"N-nein. Of course not!" Ludwig answers quickly, running a hand through his hair.

"Kesesese he does that when he's lying~" Gilbert whispered loudly to Berwald.

Vash suddenly snapped. "Fine. I didn't want to walk home with you either! Let's go!" He grabs Berwald's arm and drags him off.

"V-Vash! Don't go!" Ludwig shouted desperately, as it started to pour rain.

The German collapsed to the ground as he watched the old couple walk off into the distance.

"D-don't go... I... I love you..."

Gilbert laughs. "West, you look like a girl." He flies off like a superhero.


	4. Chapter 4

**ameriponi: HELLO THERE. Well, we haven't updated in awhile... BUT WE'RE BACK BABY. For those of you who are still reading this crackafied story, thank you so much~ For those of you who have just started reading this story... write a review please~! We love hearing you guys tell us what you think of our stories! So yep~ ENJOY **

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><p>"Berwee-chan!~" A voice yelled from the living room. Berwald woke up with a start.<br>"Do not call me that!" Berwald yelled, fumbling for his glasses.  
>"Sorry Berwee-chan!" the voice replied.<br>Berwald groaned as he gripped his glasses. He shoved them on his face and slid out of his bottom bunk.  
>He walked into the living room to find Tino, his Finnish roommate, watching T.V. "Would that kid ever shut up?" Berwald thought to himself as he went to the kitchen to get a glass of orange juice.<br>"Oh! Someone was at the door and asked for you awhile ago!" The small boy smiled.  
>Berwald removed the glass that was pressed against his lips and peeked out of the kitchen doorway to look at Tino. "Who? And why didn't you wake me up or something?"<br>Tino looked distressed. "It was some blond boy who looked about my height... I-I tried to wake you, but you told me to go away and threw a pillow at me!"  
>"Blond boy... Was his hair long...?"<br>"Kind of... Oh! And he was wearing that one hat I always wear!" Tino said as he leaned down to eat his multi-colored cereal.  
>Berwald immediately set his glass down. "How long ago was it when he knocked on the door?"<br>"Hmmm... I think he came... right after Spongebob and Mr. Krabs were talking about the secret formula!"  
>Berwald puts a finger to his chin and begins thinking. "Hnn... That scene is approximately 6 minutes and 42 seconds into the episode. The episode started about 6:00... Yes! I can catch him!" He rips off his Spiderman footie pajamas to reveal his school uniform underneath them and runs out of the door with his bag in hand.<br>"Don't forget your lunch!" Tino yelled, as he ran out the door with a Shinnaty tin lunchbox in hand, waving it around in the air. As Berwald continued to run, ignoring the Finnish boys' generous yelling, he heard shouting from a few houses in front of him.  
>"Dammit! I don't want to hold your hand on the way to school, bastardo!" Shouts a feisty Italian.<br>"But it's just for a few minutes~ Plus we're going out now, Lovi~" A Spaniard says brightly, as he walks backwards, focusing all his attention on the short Italian in front of him.  
>He admires his cute little "tomate" as he blushes. "We aren't going out, tomato bastardo."<br>"You're calling me tomato?! Like you're favorite food?!" The Spaniard exclaimed, as he smiled from ear to ear.  
>"O-only because you eat too many of the damn things!" Lovino retorts.<br>The Spaniard laughed and ruffled Lovino's hair as the Italian began to pout. "Lovi, if I died your hair dark green, you'd look just like a tomato!~"  
>Romano turns bright red at this suggestion. "You will NOT touch my hair, dammit!" He screamed, as he stormed forward. Antonio chuckles and extends his arms out to the side. "Fusosososo!~"<br>Berwald finally ran past the lovey-dovey couple as the Spaniard pulled the Italian toward him and into a passionate, shojo-moment kiss. Unfortunately, he also hears the indignant yell of Lovino's as the Spaniard pulls away from the kiss.  
>However, he is too focused on reaching Vash to notice that his ears are bleeding from the indignant yell voiced by the Italian..<br>Berwald dashed past tons of his fellow classmates, some of them even shouting a welcoming good morning towards him, but he shut them all out as he could only think of who Vash could be walking with.  
>As he darts past the crowd, he sees Vash walking with Lilli, chatting happily with her.<br>Berwald slows down slightly, relieved that he's  
>not walking with... another person... but he still continues forward to catch<br>up with Vash.  
>He walks up on the other side of Vash and the Swissman looked up at him. "Where were you this morning?"<br>Berwald saw that the little boy's eyes were red and puffy, and his mind whirled as he thought of an excuse that would be worthy enough to cause Vash to shed a single tear.  
>"I... Uh... Th-there was an episode of Spongebob that I hadn't examined thoroughly... So, I stayed up all night watching it over and over, then woke up late as a result... I'm sorry..."<br>Vash looked irritatedly at the Swedish man, then whipped his head back over to the spot where Lilli had previously been standing, but now was where a tall German man was walking.


End file.
